


Divine Right

by Rammstein6669



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Age Difference, Although not too bad in my opinion, Animal Abuse, Apex Legends, Apex Legends Headcannon, Bed-Wetting, Blackmail Threats, Bullying, Caustic Headcannon, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Dark Thoughts, Facials, Gen, Gore, Implied Murder, Insults, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Near Suicide, Non Consensual, Origin Story, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Assault, Sick Child, Spanking, Suicidal Thoughts, Time Skips, Violence, Young Caustic, bodybuilding, but not the sexy kind, chemical burns, horrible parents, like really really horrible, only for a short scene, repressed sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:27:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29015115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rammstein6669/pseuds/Rammstein6669
Summary: Most bad people weren’t born that way, no. Most were created through years of trauma and abuse, molded into beings of hatred and aggression by those around them. Alexander Maxwell Nox was no exception.
Relationships: Caustic | Alexander Nox - Relationship, Caustic | Alexander Nox/Original Character
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Divine Right

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been playing Apex for years now, but my stupid shit-brain just decided to get into the fandom. I’m obsessed with the big man. 
> 
> I adore the openness the apex lore leaves. Enough to work with, but still plenty of room for sprawling headcannons. I love nothing more than to hurt characters, so of course I decided on this little gem. As far I know, this is fully official-lore compliant. 
> 
> As mentioned in the tags, big warnings for sexual assault/rape, some gore, and (non sexual) child abuse. So please don’t read if that ain’t your thing. It’s tagged m/m for the assault scene, although there’s no romance involved in this story.
> 
> As usual, not beta’d or proofread by anyone other than me, so feel free to point out mistakes!!
> 
> Enjoy!!
> 
> (Playlist for writing this was the new Os+Front album, Dein Helfer in der Not.)

Divine Right  
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February 25, 2685

Age 0

“He’s beautiful, Katarina.” 

A smiling father glanced to a sullen faced mother, a crying child swaddled in firm arms. It’s face was dark, a difficult birth that led to a lack of oxygen, and it’s tiny hands trembled as cries shook through its frame. 

“He’s sickly.”

The mother’s tone emanated no warmth or affection. Cold, green eyes glared down into the baby’s grey, his irises not yet containing any pigment. 

“Kat...” the father spoke softly, taken aback and hurt. 

“No need to worry, Mr. Nox.” A nurse spoke quietly to the father, almost as if trying to keep a secret. “Mothering instincts will come eventually. It takes time for some people.”

The father nodded with understanding, returning his gaze to the newest member of the family. 

The mother, meanwhile, stared out the window into the frozen landscape before her.  
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November 12, 2690

Age 5 

“Cover your goddamn mouth!” Katarina barked, slamming the cup she had been cleaning into the sink. 

The small child looked at her with wide eyes. 

“You cough all day, and you don’t even try to keep your germs from spreading everywhere!” She hissed with exhausted frustration. 

The child remained silent. 

“Go bother your father instead.”

The child felt another cough forming in his chest, and he hurriedly clasped his hands over his mouth as he left the room. The sound that came out was a horrid one, somewhere between a choking gag and a hiccup, and he hoped mother hadn’t heard it. He walked slowly down the long hallway, knocking softly on the door at the very end even though it was partially open. 

“Yup!” Came a short reply, distracted. 

The child pushed the door open, entering with soft footsteps. He made his way over to the man sitting at the large desk, surrounded by stacks of papers and books. He glanced up at him silently. 

“What do you need?” The man asked matter of factly, eyes still trained on the holographic screen before him. 

“Mother told me to come bother you.” He answered honestly, simply peacocking back the last phrase he had heard. His voice was small and unsure. 

“Alexander...” The man responded with a heavy sigh as he ran a hand through short, graying hair. “You know I have to finish this work.”

The child’s heart sank. 

“Go occupy yourself in your room and I’ll try to come hang out in an hour or so, ok?” The boy’s father spoke suddenly, finally looking down at his son. 

Alex nodded. 

“You’re pale again.” He noticed with a keen eye. “Do you feel ok?”

Alex nodded again. 

“Then run along.” The father ordered, turning back towards his work. “I’ll be up soon.”

The child made his way back to his room, settling himself in the corner with a book and a large blanket. He tried to count the seconds that went by, but he eventually lost track and gave up. He kept looking to the small clock mounted on the wall despite the fact that he still couldn’t understand it. He waited patiently until it grew dark outside, and eventually he crawled into his bed. Tears ran down his cheeks as he cried silently, and it wasn’t long before they lulled him into a dreamless sleep.  
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June 22, 2694

Age 9

Alexander woke with a terrified gasp, his lungs and throat burning. He looked around his dimly lit room with fear, eyes scanning for anything out of place. The images of a gruesome nightmare flashed through his mind, and he let out a muffled sob. He registered an uncomfortable feeling beneath him, and he threw his hand to his mouth in shock when he realized he had wet the bed. He panicked thoroughly, trying to figure out a way to solve the situation quickly and discreetly. However, he knew there wasn’t one. He didn’t know where the clean sheets and blankets were. After a moment of contemplation, he rose to his feet, heart still racing at the thought of the bloody monsters that could be lurking around every corner. 

He bravely made his way to the living room, bare feet slapping softly against the hardwood floor. He took a deep breath and entered, not surprised to see mother and father sitting at opposite ends of the room. Neither of them slept much. After a few moments of going unnoticed, he cleared his throat softly. 

“Why are you up?” Mother questioned sharply, pulling her eyes from the thick book resting in her lap. 

“I—“ He stammered, unsure of how to tell her. 

“Spit it out!” She demanded, sighing with frustration at the time he was wasting. 

“I had an accident.” He spoke in a rush, trying to get the words out as quickly as possible. 

She stared at him silently with narrowed eyes, and even father finally turned to look at him. 

“Are you telling me...” She spoke with disbelieving shock, her voice low. “That my nine year old son just pissed in his bed?”

Alex felt tears begging to well in his eyes, and he hurriedly wiped them away with his palms. He stood there silently before her, his legs trembling beneath him, and he nodded. 

There was a tense moment of silence as nobody moved or spoke. However, that was broken as she rose from her spot on the couch in one swift motion, hurriedly crossing the room towards him. He immediately shied away in fear, turning his head and pulling his arms around himself. He whimpered as she roughly grabbed his wrist and pulled him forward, the sudden movement making pain bloom in his shoulder. He tried desperately to keep up with her large footsteps, and he began to cry in earnest as she sat on the couch and pulled him over her knees. He felt his pants being pulled off of him, and he struggled against her in fear. However, an elbow planted firmly against his back held him tightly in place. 

“Fucking unbelievable.” She spat viscously, grabbing the remote from the small table beside the couch. 

“I’m sorry.” Alexander cried desperately, trembling against her. 

Without warning or remorse the first strike clashed against his soft skin, the hard plastic of the remote leaving a harsh red welt. Alexander immediately cried out and once against tried to free himself. The second strike took his breath away, and tears now rolled freely down his cheeks. A third hit made him scream, his fingers digging into the dark leather of the couch. 

“Katarina!” The father finally spoke up from across the room, his voice unsure. “Don’t you think that’s a bit much?” 

She turned to look at him with a furious gaze, her face reddened with anger. “You do nothing, Arthur! You don’t feed him, you don’t help him get ready for school! All you do is work!” She screamed hysterically, eyes frantic. “So you don’t get to tell me how to punish him!” 

Another strike sounded throughout the room, and Alex struggled to breathe. 

“Why don’t you finally make yourself useful and go clean his fucking mess!” She snapped, her voice practically dripping with disdain and anger. 

Alexander watched with blurred vision as his father downed the rest of his drink, most certainly alcohol. He made eye contact with him as he walked by, and it burned inside as he simply left the room without a single word spoken. Another strike forced the air from his lungs, and he began to cough harshly. Every breath he took rasped and grated, and he felt like he was going to die. Mother hit him again, the force of the blow cracking the thick, plastic housing of the remote. He heard her toss is to the floor, and he screamed as she resumed with her hand. 

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, she stopped. She breathed heavily above him, and Alexander tried his hardest to contain his sobs. She grabbed him under the arms and put him on his feet, but his legs gave out beneath him. He whimpered as he fell to the floor, and he heard her sigh in disgust. 

“Get up and go clean yourself.” She ordered coldly. “You smell horrible.”

Alexander forced himself off of the floor, his entire body thrumming with pain. It felt weird to walk, and the motions made his skin hurt more. He made his way to the bathroom beside his room, pulling up a small stepstool to the sink. He washed his hands and his face, and the cold water made him feel better. He stepped down and took his pajamas off, only to hold them awkwardly as he continued to cry softly. He looked around, unsure of what to do. Thankfully, father soon entered the bathroom. 

Arthur took the dirty clothes from his son, throwing them into a hamper he had dragged in with him. He took a damp washcloth and made quick work of helping clean him off, Alex whining as the fabric made contact with his tender, reddened skin. Afterwards, they looked at one another. 

“I’m sorry.” Arthur spoke sullenly, his words slurred and sloppy. 

Alexander stared at him silently, unconsoled. He was mad at him for not helping, for not stopping mother. So, he simply turned and left the room, not hesitating to climb back into his bed. He pulled the blankets up over his head, curling himself into a ball. 

Once again, he cried himself to sleep.  
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June 2, 2698

Age 13

“Yo, Nox!” 

Alexander looked up abruptly as he walked down the hallway, his stomach dropping at the sight before him. Victor Maldera, one of the many large, thick skulled assholes at this school, approached him. He was followed by an entourage of equally large and stupid assholes. Alex stood his ground as they approached. 

“You dropped this.” 

So suddenly that it gave him no time to react, a large, hardcover textbook flew directly towards him. The sharp corner made direct contact with his head, and he immediately dropped to his knees in pain. A cacophony of laughter erupted at the direct hit, and he hurriedly attempted to rise back to his feet as they approached. However, a sharp kick to his ribs had him flat on the cold tile beneath him. Victor reached down and tried to pull his backpack off of his shoulders, and Alexander fought vehemently against it. However, the other teenager had a least a foot of height on him, never mind the group that was now surrounding him. 

The taller boy unzipped the bag and unceremoniously dumped the contents onto the floor. Alexander watched with frustration as he kicked through the belongings. 

“No!” The smaller boy yelled as Victor grabbed a well worn, black notebook. However, another kick, this time to the head, silenced him. 

“Look at this shit.” Victor spoke to the boys surrounding him as he carelessly flipped through the filled pages. The group looked at the talented illustrations with confusion, scoffing at the elaborate, cursive handwriting. “It’s just fucking plants and numbers.”

“It’s agriculture, you fucking dumbass.” Alexander retorted sharply, uncaring to the repercussions his outburst would certainly bring. 

“Shut up!” Victor screamed as he rushed forward, grabbing the smaller boy by the collar and hoisting him up against the hard, cement wall behind him. Alex winced as the back of his head slammed against it. 

“I’m sick and tired of your obnoxious act, you short, little fuckup!” The large teenager barked, slamming Alexander back against the wall for emphasis. “Nobody cares about how smart you think you are.”

Victor suddenly grabbed him by the back of the neck and threw him down, Alex groaning as his nose made contact with the linoleum beneath him. 

“You’re already ugly enough, so that won’t make a difference.” Victor spat at the other, looking down at him with disgust before calling out to his entourage. “Let’s go!”

The group continued down the hallway, laughing as they tore pages out of the notebook and tossed it to one another. Alexander sighed as he forced himself onto his hands and knees, startled to see blood on the bright, white floor. He reached back and felt a damp spot on his dark hair, grimacing in pain when he touched his head. He hurriedly collected the rest of his belongings, stuffing them into his bag before walking quickly towards the exit of the building. He gasped in fear as two teachers ran by him in a panic, one carrying a large fire extinguisher. He followed them out of the school, looking on with a heavy frown as they put out a small fire on the paved walkway. It was undoubtably his notebook. 

Alexander made his way home, trying his best to open the front door as discreetly as possible. However it was futile, as mother stood right by the entryway and gathered her belongings to leave. 

“What happened to you?” She questioned sharply, eying him from a few feet away. 

“Some idiots at school.” He responded with a flat voice. He was met with a sharp smack to the shoulder and a harsh reminder to watch his mouth. 

“Maybe if you ate the dinner I made you you'd be tall enough to fight back.” She retorted as she passed him in the entryway with her keys in hand. 

Alexander remained expressionless.  
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August 19, 2699

Age 14

Alexander looked down with a furrowed brow at the bucket beneath him. The white container was filled with a few inches of water. In that water was a desperate squirrel, swimming in circles as it tried hopelessly to stay afloat. 

The teenager watched silently until it finally ceased its movements. Once it floated motionlessly at the top of the water, he paused the stopwatch that was strapped to his wrist. He took the rodent out with gloved hands and set it on the ground. He pressed repeatedly on its small chest with two fingers, waiting patiently as it miraculously regained consciousness. After a few minutes of rest, he once again tossed the helpless animal into the water and restarted the watch. When the animal stopped moving again, he began to write in his journal. He noted the drop in time it took for the animal to fall unconscious over the eight times he had done this. He grinned as he calculated the rate of nearly exponential decrease, the results coming to exactly what he had anticipated. 

“Marvelous.”  
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February 28, 2703

Age 18

Alexander breathed heavily as the other pulled away, his hands braced firmly on the wall that his back was pressed against. The collar of his black, long sleeved shirt felt horribly constricting around his throat, and he desperately tried to pull it downwards. 

“Let me help you, Lexy.”

Alex held his breath as the other pulled the shirt over his head, uncomfortable being put on display. He had grown significantly over the last year or so, although he still lacked muscle mass. His ribs were easily visible under his pale skin, and his jeans fit loosely around his narrow waste. 

“Now try to keep up.”

Alexander inhaled sharply as the other moved to kiss him again, all tongue and teeth. He felt large, rough hands traversing his upper body, later choosing to tightly grip his hips. The man before him, Karsten, slid a knee in between his legs, and Alex whimpered. 

“Little boy likes that, huh.” The man spoke confidently, more a statement than a question. 

Alexander tried to remain quiet despite the fact that the walls of the dorm room were made of thick cement. He had been at this college for three semesters already, months ahead of others of his age. Karsten and him had began talking in the numerous classes they shared, the dark haired man never seeming to leave him alone. The other had said he was 23, although Alexander assumed him to be closer to 27 or 28 judging by the defined line of his jaw and the crows feet by his eyes. 

The other man abruptly pulled him to the bed, straddling his legs once he fell backwards into it. Karsten quickly undressed both of them, leaving only their boxers. He smiled as he slid his own off of his waist, and Alexander’s breath came out in stuttering exhales. He remained silent as the older man pulled his last piece of clothing off as well, revealing his now painfully hard length. 

“My, my...” Karsten spoke lowly as he wrapped a hand around himself, eying the teenager beneath him without shame. “Long and thin, just like the rest of you.”

Alexander curled in on himself as the other firmly gripped his erection with his free hand, completely and utterly inexperienced in these types of activities. He brought a hand to his mouth in an attempt to keep quiet, but the other was quick to pull it away. 

“I wanna hear you, baby.” Karsten spoke with a rumbling voice, lips curled into an aroused grin. 

Karsten let go of himself and pushed two fingers into the other’s mouth without any warning. Alexander sucked on them instinctively, dully noting the somewhat bitter and salty taste. Karsten pulled his fingers out and moved to grab both of their cocks in his now dampened hand. The young student moaned lewdly, the slick feeling making arousal jolt like electricity through his abdomen. It took no more than a few tight pumps of the other’s fist before he came, groaning softly as his release covered the other’s hand. He laid on the bed silently, his chest heaving, as the other continued above him. It wasn’t long before Karsten reached his climax as well, and he quickly leaned forward over the other. Alexander flinched as the other came on him, the thick, viscous fluid covering his face and upper chest. He remained motionless as the other rose from him and got dressed, unsure of what to do. He flinched when Karsten threw a towel at him unexpectedly, and he silently cleaned himself off. 

“You are truly amazing, Lexy.” The older man spoke as he leaned down and kissed him once more. 

Alex watched silently as the other made his way towards the door, looking back and winking before he left without another word. After a few moments of contemplation, Alexander rose and dressed himself. He moved to the well organized desk on the opposite side of the room and took a seat, immediately resuming what he had been working on before Karsten had knocked on his door. 

He remained awake through the night.  
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December 12, 2707

Age 22

Alexander typed with dexterous fingers, eyes flitting from the holoscreen before him to the open notebook on the desk. It was early evening, the sun just beginning to set, and he continued to work, the title of the thesis reading: _Pesticides and their proposed use in terraforming and zoning._

“Come on!” 

Alexander released a heavy, frustrated sigh as he continued to type, this time glancing down at an open textbook on his left side. 

“Lexy!” 

Alexander slammed the book shut and turned to look at the older man, his eyes narrowed. Karsten sat in a lounge chair on the opposite side of the study, legs spread and head hanging back. Alex was grateful to have his own apartment now, not having to worry about obnoxious behaviors from other students. However, the older man was still an issue. 

“It’s been over a week.” Karsten spoke with frustration, looking to the other with expectant eyes. “I want to fuck.”

“I told you...” Alexander responded with annoyance, just wanting to get back to work. “My thesis is due this week, you knew I’d be busy.”

Karsten sighed and let himself slump further into the chair. “But you're always busy, Nox.”

“You knew damn well I’d be getting my doctorate.” Alexander bit back somewhat harsher than intended. “It’s not my fault you’re doing nothing now that you’re done school.”

The older man shot him a vicious glare, but the young student ignored it and resumed his work. He kept typing, making sure to cite his sources as he went, and tried his best to focus. 

“I treat you so well, and this is how you repay me?” 

Alexander once again stopped typing, this time guilt sitting heavily in his abdomen. He turned to look at the larger man and was greeted with an expression of hurt. He watched silently as Karsten stood up and approached him, his arms crossed. 

“I give you your first time, I make you feel good...” Karsten spoke with a hurt voice, his face pulled into a frown. “And what do I get in return? You don’t even let me fuck you.”

Alexander’s stomach twisted at the other’s comments, his guilt now consuming him. He contemplated what to say, and he was torn. Part of him, the part that was abused and degraded, wanted to give in...wanted to please. However, part of him wanted him to remain strong, to be true to himself. That side of Alex’s psyche had been growing lately, and it felt _good_. He took a deep breath before breaking the silence. 

“Karsten, I appreciate you.” He began softly, eyes downturned. “But I need to do this. I’m sorry.”

He turned back to his computer, rereading the last few sentences he had written in an attempt to remember his last train of though. Right as he started to type, Karsten spoke again. 

“I’ll tell your parents.”

Alexander froze in his seat, anxiety gripping his innards firmly. He felt a chill creep through his body and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Years of his life had been spent in solitude, years in which he had simply said that no women liked him. The only thing he enjoyed was this school, the endless work and distraction. They would disown him, therefore killing any chances he had to continue his studies. They never gave any love, but at least they gave him money. 

“How dare you.” Alexander spoke as he rose from his chair, turning to face the older man. He pulled every ounce of courage he had to the surface, knowing he had to stand up to the other. “I can’t believe you. How could you say tha—“

Before he could finish his sentence, Karsten’s first flew towards him, making contact with the side of his jaw with a sickening thud. It sent him stumbling backwards towards his desk, and his lower back smashed onto the hard wooden edge, stacks of papers and books crashed onto the floor. He groaned as he held the side of his face, his vision swimming. He glanced to other with shock, and he was horrified to see the expression of hatred he wore. He suddenly bolted towards the exit, but the older man was quick to lunge forwards and grab him roughly by the wrist. He tried desperately to pull away, but Karsten’s grip was firm. 

“Let me go!” Alexander cried out, his socks sliding on the floor as the other pulled him closer. 

Karsten suddenly threw him to the floor, and his head slammed brutally against the hardwood. The pain dazed him as he struggled, and the world around him spun as he attempted to get up. He felt something cold around his wrists, painful, and he realized with fear that Karsten had cinched them tightly together with his belt. The brown leather cut into his skin, and he kicked his legs violently as he was dragged across the room. His chest heaved with panicked breaths as Karsten tied the other end of the belt to the leg of the desk, leaving him helpless on his back. 

“I’m sick and tired of waiting.” The older man spat, brow furrowed as he stood above Alexander.

The young student fought vehemently against the other as he kneeled down to straddle him, Alex’s breath catching in his throat as his thin T-shirt was torn off of him. He tried to kick the other off as he reached down and grabbed the waistband of his pants, but his weight kept him firmly planted on Alex’s legs. He continued to fight against the assault, grimacing as his jeans and briefs were pulled down without remorse. However, his constant movement only served to frustrate the other further. Karsten grabbed him by the short, brown hair, and Alexander cried out when his head was slammed into the floor beneath him. The force of the blow made his vision go black, ears ringing as rough hands impatiently flipped him onto his stomach. The movement made his shoulders burn as they were pulled taught by his binds, and he grimaced in pain. He turned his head to the side and managed to catch a glimpse of the other, panicking further as Karsten hurriedly undid his pants. 

“No!” Alexander screamed as the older man pulled his erection from his pants, once again trying to wriggle himself free. Futile. 

“If you shut the fuck up I won’t have to gag you.” Karsten spoke with a growl, spitting crudely into his hand. 

Alexander struggled to breathe, the unidentifiable condition he had since birth making his throat burn as it constricted. His entire body tensed as he felt the other’s length against him. He tried one last time to writhe away, but Karsten put a broad palm onto his head and let his weight sink against it, the pressure feeling as if it would crack his skull. The larger man spit onto himself once more before beginning to push into him without warning, and Alexander _screamed_. 

The pain lanced through his lower body, and he felt as if he was dying. He clawed his fingers hard into the floor, his nails cracking and breaking beneath the pressure. He cried out in agony, and he was positive this was going to kill him. Karsten was tearing him in half, brutalizing him from the inside out, eviscerating him. He felt himself being split in two, tears now streaming freely down his face. It burned so ungodly horribly, he thought he was on fire. The weight of the other’s heavy body atop him made it nearly impossible to breathe, his chest convulsing in a desperate attempt to take in oxygen. 

The entire ordeal lasted only a few minutes, although to Alexander it felt like an eternity. Karsten fucked into him with a few more sharp thrusts, groaning at the tightness. He came suddenly and without warning, and Alex sobbed at the feeling of the other spilling deep inside of him. Even through his disgust he didn’t dare move, each and every motion only causing more pain. After a moment of taught silence the older man pulled out, and Alexander whimpered as his abdomen cramped painfully at the sudden emptiness. He remained silent on the floor, his breathing rasping and shallow, as the other rose and began to collect himself. His eyes remained blearily focused on the floor beneath him, not reacting even as the other’s cum began to drip down his inner thigh. He listened as Karsten redressed, his footsteps circulating around the room for a few minutes. The sound of his voice made Alexander tense once more. 

“My threat still stands.” The older man said flatly, his voice monotone. “If you open your mouth about this...I’ll ruin you.”

Alexander listened as the other walked away, the sound of the door opening and closing echoing throughout the silent apartment. He laid there aimlessly, his mind blank, for what seemed to be hours. The sun outside had long since set, leaving the room in a veil of darkness. The night brought along freezing winter temperatures, and Alexander began to shiver on the cool floor. He tried to take a deep breath, but the stretching of his lungs brought along a coughing fit. After a few moments of struggling to regain his breath he began to push himself upwards, his arms nearly giving out as pain once again bloomed in his groin. He forced himself through it, managing to rise to his feet despite the agony he was experiencing both mentally and physically. He walked on unsteady feet towards the bathroom, and he winced as the bright, motion activated light ticked on. He reached forward and turned the shower handle to as hot as it would go, waiting only a few moments before stepping under the stream. The scalding water turned his pale skin a bright red, although the steam helped to ease the pain in his throat and chest. He scrubbed his arms raw, ignoring the pain the burning water caused upon them. Afterwards, he stood there silently with distant eyes, and his mind remained quiet. Alexander’s brain was constantly thrumming, calculating and conceptualizing. The lack of coherent thought created a pit of anxiety in his stomach, although he felt much to empty to worry further about it. The water had long since gone cold before the young student finally stepped out, not even bothered to dry himself off. He left a trail of dripping water as he moved towards his bed, letting himself fall unceremoniously onto the immaculately straightened blankets. 

Alexander slept for the better part of four days.  
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February 25, 2708

Age 23

Vibrant green eyes stared emptily at the wall before them. The only sound to be heard was the faint ticking of a clock, the ambience from the city outside nearly completely blocked by thick window shades. The only light in the room came from a wide holoscreen, on it a blank, untouched document.

Alexander held the gun idly in his hands. 

The student glanced down to the energy weapon once more, flicking the safety on and off with a restless thumb. It’s weight was reassuring in his broad hand, the once cold metal now warmed from the heat of his body. He had contemplated writing a letter, hence the open document on his computer. However, he knew not a single being would be affected by it, and it would only have been a further waste of his time. 

He brought the gun up to eye level once more, this time inspecting and notating every detail it had to offer. The name Wonyeon Defense was etched into the body of it, and the serial number caught his eye. 

_WD-378-KY3-ER9_

_**ER9** _

Alexander reread the last three symbols, the corner of his lips turning up with an empty snicker. 

The same letters and numbers as the last three digits of his Gaea Global ID. 

“Catharsis.” He spoke softly to nobody but himself. 

Suddenly, Alexander felt his phone vibrate through the thick wood of his desk, and he glanced down at the illuminated display with annoyance. The name that flashed across the screen made his blood run cold despite the fact that he had been expecting it today. He took a deep breath before answering. 

“Good evening.” He answered with a flat tone, his green eyes still trained loosely on the gun in his hand. 

“Hello, Alexander.” The voice on the other end spoke firmly, disinterested. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you, mother.” He returned with no emotion, his right hand clenched so tightly on the grip that his knuckles were white. 

“You father says the same.” She continued, coldly. 

“Tell him he has my thanks, if you will.” Alex responded cordially, his chest tight. 

“We saw your grades.” She said after a long pause, and the student’s stomach sank. He held his breath in fear, waiting for what was to come. “We don’t pay to put you through that prestigious school for you to be getting B’s.” 

Alexander remained silent. 

“You father is heartbroken. He’s growing ever sicker and you keep disappointing him. You were supposed to be a prodigy.” She continued without remorse or care, her voice infuriatingly bitter. “But I can’t say I didn’t warn him.”

“I’ll have to try harder, then.” The student answered curtly, struggling to keep his voice from breaking. 

“Goodbye, Alexander.” 

Before he could open his mouth, the call was ended. 

Alex let the phone slide from his hand, the frame clattering loudly against the ground as it almost certainly cracked. A surge of emotions rose abruptly in his chest, unlike anything he had felt in a very long time. A deluge of feelings washed over him, and he couldn’t discern them from one another. Sadness, frustration, pain, rage, hatred...they all congregated together and overwhelmed him, making him rise to his feet. He threw the gun suddenly against the wall, a guttural scream tearing from his throat as he did so. He reached down and grabbed the chair he had been resting upon, swinging it over his head and violently smashing it to the ground beneath him. He continued to swing it over and over again, uncaring as shards of metal and plastic flew roughly against his shins. He didn’t stop until it was nothing but a pile of components littering the floor, uncaring as he felt his lungs beginning to ache. This aggression, this _violence_ , felt far better than expected. 

Alexander felt powerful, and something in his brain switched. 

All of those who had hurt him were irrelevant, meaningless existences who had amounted to nothing. Life was fleeting, and it was pointless if one accomplished nothing noteworthy. He had been so ready to eliminate himself when _he_ was the one with intellect, he was one the with the capability to forward the scientific world. He stood motionlessly, and he suddenly found himself laughing at the absurdity of it all. 

Life itself was a paradoxical quest, death being the only positively certain variable. 

If he was going to die, then at least he would leave an imprint on this horrid world.  
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April 27, 2709

Age 24 

Alexander grunted softly as he hoisted himself upwards once more, sweat dripping down the contours of his face. His ankles were hooked together as he did yet another strict pull-up, the muscles in his arms bulging as he lifted his body weight, over and over. 

After an amount of time he deemed sufficient, he allowed himself to drop to his feet with a sigh. He took five minutes of rest, rehydrating as he paced the room. He glanced down at his watch and moved onwards, now standing in front of a large mirror attached to the wall of his apartment. He crouched down and firmly gripped the barbell beneath him, making sure to put his fingers over his thumbs in a proper hold. He took a deep breath before deadlifting the weight, pausing to attain form. After taking another short inhale, he dipped down and used the momentum to hoist the bar to his shoulders. He wasted no time in completing the final movement, pushing the barbell upwards only to rapidly lunge under it, a perfectly executed Jerk. 

He continued the rounds until his arms shook above his head, completing one last rep before letting the weighted bar slam to the ground beneath him. He breathed heavily as he removed the support straps from his lower back and wrists, once again pacing the room to decompress. After a moment he stopped in front of the mirror, notating the current status of his frame. 

The last year had been spent diligently working towards new goals, one being a total change of his physique. After many sessions that resulted in near loss of consciousness, Alexander had found that intense workouts seemed to help his breathing struggles. Perhaps it had been mental the entire time, or perhaps the workouts strengthened the lining of his lungs. Regardless, the results were more than satisfactory. His ribs no longer tented his pale skin, firm oblique muscles now taking their place. Large, round shoulders gave way to massive biceps, and his pectorals stood out in sharp definition against his broad chest. He forced himself to eat consistently throughout the day, no longer accepting a weak, helpless appearance. He didn’t have the thin tone or the elite muscle definition of a runner or swimmer, instead carrying the obscenely strong bulk of a weightlifter. His brown hair, which was now tightly slicked back against his head, had grown longer, reaching almost past his neck. In addition, the start of a beard darkened his chin and cheeks. 

He eyed himself silently in the mirror, admiring the sight of his now impressive body. He then made his way to the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door as he stripped and showered. The hot water felt relaxing against exhausted muscles, but he didn’t hesitate to turn it ice cold before exiting, jumpstarting his immune system. He quickly toweled himself off, not caring as his hair remained somewhat damp against the back of his neck. He made quick work of redressing, settling for dark sweatpants and a T-shirt that fit comfortably loose. He entered the kitchen and went directly to the fridge, pulling out a protein dense meal that had been prepped days ago. He walked silently back towards his office, which had now been turned into more of a makeshift laboratory. After all, he had completed his masters in chemistry. 

He ate his food in silence as he stared at the equations and chemicals before him, thoughts running freely with post workout clarity. Once he was finished he set the container aside, now turning his full attention to the work before him. He read through the numbers he had calculated over and over, comparing them repeatedly to the notes he had written in sprawling cursive. Something just wasn’t adding up, despite his constant double and triple checking for mistakes. He stared at the vials full of potent mixtures, his mind reeling. 

He was so unbelievably close, and he wouldn’t stop until he achieved his goal.  
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September 5, 2711

Age 26

The splash goggles dug into his cheekbones, red lines pressed into his face after hours of wear. Thickly gloved hands cautiously filled a rounded Straus flask, steady like those of a surgeon. The only sound to be heard was the scientist’s heavy breathing, deep inhalations being taken in an attempt to keep his hands steady. He cautiously mixed the chemical before him with another, making sure the measurements were precise and exact. He noted the lack of reaction, as was expected, and marked it the leatherbound book beside him. He ignored the ache in his neck as he poured another measured vial, eyes burning from the intensity in which he focused. He carefully began to mix the compounds together, making sure that none of the contents splashed upwards. He set the empty test tube in a stand, hurriedly pulling his notebook closer as he intensively watched the serum before him. He stared as the chemicals began to shift to a light green color, eyes widening as they began to bubble and hiss aggressively. Alexander panicked as a green tinged gas began to rise into the air, and he hurriedly lunged across the desk to grab his respirator. He was so focused on getting the mask properly fit to his face that he didn’t notice as the flask began to crack. Without warning, the glass shattered loudly, sending the volatile chemicals flying. A large portion of the contents landed directly on the scientist’s left arm and hand, and he hurriedly launched to his feet. His brain ran through the protocols as he backed away from the desk, and he immediately began to take off the contaminated lab coat and glove. However, the compound didn’t hesitate to eat away at both the white fabric and the rubber, eliminating the only barrier between itself and his skin. Alexander groaned in pain as the chemicals seared into his arm, the sensation like fire across his flesh. He finally managed to shake himself free from the coat, running hurriedly into the bathroom. He turned the faucet on cold, stealing a glance at his arm before he put it under the water 

He stared in awe at the way the chemicals ate away at his flesh, his skin searing away to reveal the reddened tissue beneath. The excruciating pain made his breathing heavy and desperate, but he simply couldn’t pull his eyes away from the sight before him. The chemicals bubbled against his dermis, hissing and popping as they reached the layer of fat beneath. The pain of his nerves being burned forced him to throw his arm under the water, his knees weak beneath him. He stood in silence, and his mind reeled at the implications. 

_He had done it._

Years of research...years of frustration, calculation, and effort finally coming to a conclusion: a perfectly repeatable outcome that would always result in carnage. Alexander glanced down at his ruined arm, and he couldn’t contain the wide grin that spread across his lips. The pain was utterly insignificant in relation to what he had just accomplished. After all, without pain the body simply suffered in silence. He turned off the water and quickly returned to the lab, eyes widening with excitement as he saw the full extent of the damage. The metal surface of the desk had completely dissolved where the volatile chemicals had spilled, the holes multiple inches deep in some spots. The ceiling and walls had begun to be eaten away by the fumes released by the reaction, not completely eroded, but still significant. Alexander found himself glad he had managed to attach the respirator in time. 

He looked on with revered awe, almost as if he was staring at some form of brutal altar. Alexander had never been a man of god, religion and science clashing vehemently in every instance he had witnessed. He refused to waste time and energy worshipping a being whose actions had reasonable explanations. However, the sight before him was simply exhilarating...perhaps even divine. 

This was power.

This was his God.  
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June 23, 2712

Age 27 

Alexander read through the text before him with a total lack of expression. 

_“Your dissertation was, without doubt, the most complete and complex I have ever witnessed in my 30+ years of teaching, Mr. Nox. 278 pages on a completely new chemical compound, discovered by someone in their mere 20’s nonetheless._

_Groundbreaking._

_However, I cannot help but find myself filled with concern at your implied usage of this compound. Science as dangerous as this is not something to be toyed with._

_Although I will not be able to help you find employment, I wish you magnitudes of luck on your future endeavors._

_Sincerely,  
Dr. Broadmoore”_

Alexander scoffed at the terminology used. _Disappointing_. There was no luck in this existence, only those who couldn’t account for the proper variables. He turned off the screen and pulled his phone from his pocket, eyes scanning the most recent message. 

_“Your father’s funeral is scheduled for Saturday. I know it’s the same day as your hooding ceremony, but I except to see you there nonetheless.”_

Alexander put the device back in his pocket before he stood up, making sure to push his chair in. He made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth before bed, sighing with exhaustion. 

Both of the events were insignificant to him. However, he needed to see one, in particular, through to the end.  
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June 29, 2712

Age 27

“Alexander Maxwell Nox, being presented this title for his dissertation on _The Introduction of a Previously Undiscovered Biochemical Compound with both Defensive and Aggressive Application in Military and Correctional Institutes_.”

The large audience clapped loudly as Alexander stepped to the center of the stage, a faint smile gracing his lips as the deliverers placed the hood over his head and across his shoulders. He gave firm handshakes to those who approached him, nodding at their words of praise. He stood proudly between fellow academics as a photo was taken, the scarred skin of his left hand barely noticeable from beneath the sleeve of his gown. 

Long after the ceremony he returned home, now standing before the large array of compounds kept securely on his desk. 

Now, the _true_ fun could begin.  
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December 12, 2723

Age 38

The loud rasping of a gas mask echoed against the metal walls of the room, menacing. Swirling chartreuse gas made it difficult to see more than a few feet, almost beautiful in its violent destruction. 

Alexander let the glove from his left hand fall to the metal table with a loud slap. He pulled the pre-filled syringe from a pocket, not hesitating to inject himself in numerous points on the hand. He waited a few moments, taking the opportunity to glance at the corpse lying on the floor beneath him. 

“Pity.” He spoke to himself, his voice rough as it reverberated through the mask he wore. “You could have been a valuable ally, Humbert.” 

He calmly pulled a surgical blade from the pouch attached to his hip, quickly removing it from its sanitary packaging. He walked across the room, heavy rubber boots thumping loudly against the floor beneath him. He held the blade to the quickly growing fire in the corner of the room, the oppressive heat reminding him of how quickly he had to proceed. Once it was glowing an angry red, he returned to the table and firmly planted his left hand against it. After no more than a deep breath of hesitation, he expertly pressed the blade through his ring and pinky fingers, groaning loudly in pain as they were completely severed. The numbing agent he had administered helped, but the agony of surgical steel cracking through bone and sinew still shot like lightning through his hand. The heated blade had done a good job of cauterizing the wound, although some blood still found its way out to quickly pool on the table. Alex made quick work of bandaging the wound with supplies he had brought, immediately putting his glove back on afterward. He carefully placed the severed digits next to the corpse, knowing full well that forensics would find them. 

He stepped back and admired his work, every possible variable anticipated and accounted for. He gently set down a container of explosive powder, yet another one of his elaborate creations. He had approximately two minutes before the fire would grow hot enough to ignite it. He took one last look at the display before him, smiling proudly before he calmly made his way from the complex. 

This was the end of an era. The end of rules and the end of others holding him back. 

This was the end, of Alexander Nox.  
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January 17, 2733

Age 48

“Ladies and gentlemen, legends and viewers alike, welcome to the newest season of the Apex games! This year will bring more excitement, more action, and more _malice_ than ever before. 

You’ve seen violence! You’ve seen death! But never, my fellow people, have you seen cruelty like this! 

A rogue scientist with an insatiable bloodlust brought on by what could only be psychopathy, please welcome our newest legend, our very own toxic trapper!

_**Caustic.”** _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed it!! This was a huge blast to write!
> 
> Pleaaaase leave kudos and (especially) comments if you liked it! It helps motivate me to write more <3


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